Imaginary Break

Sometimes you are effected by moments in ways you don't realize. For example I was in a car accident about 9 years ago. I rear-ended a truck. It wasn't a terrible accident unfortunately my car is made of paper and was smashed while his was fine. Since then when I am driving in the passenger seat with someone I automatically push down on an imaginary break when we get close to the car in front of us. I am so scared that we are going to hit them that my heart beats fast and I push on a imaginary break like I can do something. It' been 9 years and it hasn't gone away.

Last week I realized a new thing.

The morning my dog passed away I woke to a weird noise coming from downstairs. I thought it may have been one of the cats, but I wasn't sure. I ignored it for about a minute and finally went into the hallway and the top of the stairs to see what it was. It turns out it was my mother wailing. Something that I had never heard. She had found Chase in the pool.

Since then I do not wake up peacefully anymore instead I'm not a minor alert. Now every noise in the house while I am in bed freaks me out. Waking in the morning is the worst because I hear something and I freeze. I flashback to that morning and just think something bad has happened.

 It's like my new imaginary break

 

Chase