I started this blog thinking about all the things I could do. All the writting I could get out and all of the things I could rec. But I never use it.
It's a habit that I have. Starting things with all of these ideas and expectations, but never doing it or being to scared to. I have numerious accounts that I either don't log onto or if I do it's very few times. It's a useless waste of space that I don't delete becauseof a 'what if' or a 'this I will do it.' It's annoying and frustrating. Then again what isn't in my life. I need to turn it around. My problem is my fear of doing it and not knowing how to.
Well that went off into a mini whine/rant. To be honest I have no ideae where this is going or if I even had a plan. I jst saw that I hadn't updated and started to write.
Arhhhhh!! I'm done. I guess I'll just have to see what happens.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Life Quotes
Here are a couple of quotes that I just found poking around on photobucket:
"we sit silently and watch the world around us. This has taken a lifetime to learn. It seems only the old are able to sit next to one another and not say anything and still feel content. The young, brash and impatient, must always break the silence. It is a waste for silence is pure. It draws people together because only those who are comfortable with each other can sit without speaking." Nicholas Sparks ‘The Notebook’
Love doesn't hurt until you think about it, how much things have changed, who you've lost along the way, and how much of it was your fault
"The people who suffer the most are those that do not know what they want."
-Ellen Pompeo as Meredith Grey in Grey's Anatomy
I'd rather be a could-be if I cannot be an are; because a could-be is a maybe who is reaching for a star. I'd rather be a has-been than a might-have-been, by far; for a might have-been has never been, but a has was once an are.
Milton Berle
"we sit silently and watch the world around us. This has taken a lifetime to learn. It seems only the old are able to sit next to one another and not say anything and still feel content. The young, brash and impatient, must always break the silence. It is a waste for silence is pure. It draws people together because only those who are comfortable with each other can sit without speaking." Nicholas Sparks ‘The Notebook’
Love doesn't hurt until you think about it, how much things have changed, who you've lost along the way, and how much of it was your fault
"The people who suffer the most are those that do not know what they want."
-Ellen Pompeo as Meredith Grey in Grey's Anatomy
I'd rather be a could-be if I cannot be an are; because a could-be is a maybe who is reaching for a star. I'd rather be a has-been than a might-have-been, by far; for a might have-been has never been, but a has was once an are.
Milton Berle
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Lack Of Conversation
I was talking to my dad the other night and after our conversation I thought of this video because it went pretty much like this.
"Teenage Song" by Peter Denahy
"Teenage Song" by Peter Denahy
Saturday, April 4, 2009
3 Friend Quotes
"Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You, too? Thought I was the only one."-C.S. Lewis
“A good friend will get you out of jail. A true friend will be sitting next to you saying Damn…We fucked up"
“A blessed thing it is for any man or woman to have a friend, one human soul whom we can trust utterly, who knows the best and worst of us, and who loves us in spite of all our faults."- Charles Kingsley
“A good friend will get you out of jail. A true friend will be sitting next to you saying Damn…We fucked up"
“A blessed thing it is for any man or woman to have a friend, one human soul whom we can trust utterly, who knows the best and worst of us, and who loves us in spite of all our faults."- Charles Kingsley
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Secrets
Today my sister and Amanda decided to dress me up. I let them because I was bored and I kinda was okay with it. Maybe because I had a little attention and I was interested to see what they picked out. Anyways we had just finished and stopped at Macy's so they could try on dresses. Amanda was still trying them on when my sister and I got into a discussion outside the dressing room door. I told her that there where things about me she didn't know and that my friend could describe me as a totally different person than she could. I said that there where things I didn't want to know about her because outside of the house was probably a different person and I didn't want my views of her to be tarnished. Well she whined and pushed wanting me to tell her a secret. I said no so she told me a secret of hers and Amanda old her my secret (I couldn't do it). Then is got real awkward.
I realized that I'm always going to assume that my brothers and sisters have followed my example in a lot of things and that I hold them up in this light. But really they are people who do...stupid things and stuff that I'll never know. I really wish that I wasn't told the secret. It made me realize that my sister is a bit of a hypocrite and that she isn't the person that I thought she was. My friend said the same thing. She was shocked and finds it hard to admire my sister.
As for my secret I wish more than anything she didn't know. I hate he fact that she does and I wished I had lied but my mouth just get so caught up. Ahhh I don't like secret sharing anymore. It can ruin so much.
I realized that I'm always going to assume that my brothers and sisters have followed my example in a lot of things and that I hold them up in this light. But really they are people who do...stupid things and stuff that I'll never know. I really wish that I wasn't told the secret. It made me realize that my sister is a bit of a hypocrite and that she isn't the person that I thought she was. My friend said the same thing. She was shocked and finds it hard to admire my sister.
As for my secret I wish more than anything she didn't know. I hate he fact that she does and I wished I had lied but my mouth just get so caught up. Ahhh I don't like secret sharing anymore. It can ruin so much.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Psychic
So Amanda and I went to a Psychic today. Amanda went yesterday and was telling me about how this lady was amazing. She was able to get her friend Daniel and her right on. I was surprised that the lady told Amanda some of these things because they were things that I knew all along but for someone who never meet her, pretty good. Even though I’m totally for this kind of stuff a part of me was a little skeptical. But Amanda talked my into it…just a little since a part of my really wanted to go. I figured it was $25 that I could spend on myself.
The place is this house in the not so good part of town. It has this huge sign with a hand and the word psychic next to it. So we parked the car across the street at Rancho San Miguel and walked to the house. The lady does this in her house where she lives with someone and scared us when she opened the door. She pointed us to this small room right next to the front door. She was….normal. That sounds bad and I don’t expect all psychics to wear turbans and stuff, but she was just a lady. We sat down and she asked what I wanted: palm read, tarots, or psychic reading. I picked palm because it was cheapest. Her dog interrupted but that was ok.
She started by telling me to pick 2 wishes. 1 I tell her out loud and the other I keep to myself. Out loud I said ‘I want to be happy’ inside I thought I want to meet someone special. She did a little ‘ooo’ and started. It was weird. Even now I look back on it and there are no words to describe it. It wasn’t the future and shocked me but the way she got ME. She told me that I’m sensitive, too sensitive. I let everything get to me and it brings me down. I write and I don’t let anyone read it because I’m scared that they’ll laugh at me. I worry too much about what others say. She said that I had someone in the past; we never got close because I wouldn’t let him and that he disappointed me. That I never let anyone close because I worry that they’ll disappoint me. She said that I’m having trouble with a friend. That this friend is letting my down and it’s causing me troubles. She asked if I have problems sleeping and that the reason I can’t is because I have to much negative energy. I hold too much in and it never gets out. She guessed Bounce About and how I didn’t like my job. I liked the kids but the parents got in my way and I felt I wasn’t going anywhere with it. And that since September my home life has been causing me trouble. I have no space for myself.
Those things are what got me. How did she get that? I didn’t talk to her, I don’t even know her name and she doesn’t know mine, but she held my hand took a look at my palm and got all of it. And it’s all true.
She told that my transferring to Stanislaus is good for me. I’ll have two new beginnings this year; my birthday and the beginning of school. I have to break away from home so that I can learn about me. She said that I’m going to meet someone and fall in love and get married within the next two years. Amanda asked if I was going to live in a big city but the lady said I’ll probably get married before that choice gets put on the table. She said she sees me as a teacher for little kids. I’ll have two or three but that’s it because I’ll be surrounded by them. I should write kids books. She said I need a hobby, not painting that’s too simple, but something. She saw a craft and I said stained glass. She said I should take it up again because I have to do something that takes my mind off the world and my problems. I need to get rid of my negative energy. She said that she usually tells people not to take so many risks because they break their heart to much, but that I have to and if my heart gets broken oh well that’s life. I worry to much about people and my family and it’s not functional but it’s not dysfunctional. I have to do something for me.
I think that that was everything. I can’t really remember, we talked a bit about how she did it and what I felt with my own tarot cards. Then she asked if I have any question and I couldn’t think of any at the time, but now I have tons.
It was just a surreal moment and I kinda want to do it again.
The place is this house in the not so good part of town. It has this huge sign with a hand and the word psychic next to it. So we parked the car across the street at Rancho San Miguel and walked to the house. The lady does this in her house where she lives with someone and scared us when she opened the door. She pointed us to this small room right next to the front door. She was….normal. That sounds bad and I don’t expect all psychics to wear turbans and stuff, but she was just a lady. We sat down and she asked what I wanted: palm read, tarots, or psychic reading. I picked palm because it was cheapest. Her dog interrupted but that was ok.
She started by telling me to pick 2 wishes. 1 I tell her out loud and the other I keep to myself. Out loud I said ‘I want to be happy’ inside I thought I want to meet someone special. She did a little ‘ooo’ and started. It was weird. Even now I look back on it and there are no words to describe it. It wasn’t the future and shocked me but the way she got ME. She told me that I’m sensitive, too sensitive. I let everything get to me and it brings me down. I write and I don’t let anyone read it because I’m scared that they’ll laugh at me. I worry too much about what others say. She said that I had someone in the past; we never got close because I wouldn’t let him and that he disappointed me. That I never let anyone close because I worry that they’ll disappoint me. She said that I’m having trouble with a friend. That this friend is letting my down and it’s causing me troubles. She asked if I have problems sleeping and that the reason I can’t is because I have to much negative energy. I hold too much in and it never gets out. She guessed Bounce About and how I didn’t like my job. I liked the kids but the parents got in my way and I felt I wasn’t going anywhere with it. And that since September my home life has been causing me trouble. I have no space for myself.
Those things are what got me. How did she get that? I didn’t talk to her, I don’t even know her name and she doesn’t know mine, but she held my hand took a look at my palm and got all of it. And it’s all true.
She told that my transferring to Stanislaus is good for me. I’ll have two new beginnings this year; my birthday and the beginning of school. I have to break away from home so that I can learn about me. She said that I’m going to meet someone and fall in love and get married within the next two years. Amanda asked if I was going to live in a big city but the lady said I’ll probably get married before that choice gets put on the table. She said she sees me as a teacher for little kids. I’ll have two or three but that’s it because I’ll be surrounded by them. I should write kids books. She said I need a hobby, not painting that’s too simple, but something. She saw a craft and I said stained glass. She said I should take it up again because I have to do something that takes my mind off the world and my problems. I need to get rid of my negative energy. She said that she usually tells people not to take so many risks because they break their heart to much, but that I have to and if my heart gets broken oh well that’s life. I worry to much about people and my family and it’s not functional but it’s not dysfunctional. I have to do something for me.
I think that that was everything. I can’t really remember, we talked a bit about how she did it and what I felt with my own tarot cards. Then she asked if I have any question and I couldn’t think of any at the time, but now I have tons.
It was just a surreal moment and I kinda want to do it again.
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