Changed for the Better

I submitted my revision of ‘You Are My Drug.’ I can’t say that I love what I did. I’m even sure that I like what I did. I’ll have to read through it without the add stuff caped. It doesn’t help with everything so big and I still haven’t added the new non-capped story to the saved document that has every edition of the story.

Even if it isn’t my favorite there’s nothing I can’t change. It’s not like it’s set in stone. I’ll just have to figure out if I need to change anything. I’m hoping that I don’t and that what I wrote fits in with the story is supposed to be. I did try and address every critique that I was given. I read through the ones that I had to edit myself and noticed that many of them didn’t change too much and the ones that I gave the honest critique didn’t add anything that I said. It’s their stories and their choice what they want to add or not add. But I felt that all the comments I received should have been changed or added. So I did it.

We’ll have to see what happens.

Workin'

I’ve been working on my editing for the last couple hours on and off. It’s a little frustrating. I usually change some things then back away before going back to it. It allows the new things to settle before I re-read them. But it hasn’t been easy. It’s interesting how some changes just come easily. I can see where they need to be changed and why they need to be changed.

But others are a pain in the butt. I’m trying to find a place to add more Jay. It’s not first person POV but she’s still the main character and I guess that wasn’t showing before. So I have to find some way to make her more there. I also have to add some more meat to the story. I’m thinking that add more Jay will accomplish this, but I do know that I have to add other things as well. Like background. Which isn’t to difficult, but it’s not easy. I want to add more about Trevor and his reason for drugs but not give a specific setting, because this doesn’t have a certain place it takes place.

So this is what I’ve been doing. It’s a little hard since it’s just me and there isn’t anyone to bounce ideas off of, but I’ve never really worked well on any kind of writing with others. I just have to make sure that it’s right.

Making the Plan

So I finally did some actual work on my creative writing revisions. Well not a lot of work. I printed out the reviews and highlighted the remarks that I feel will be of good use. I’ve decided to edit You Are My Drug I feel like right now it would be best to get this one edited. I’m not even close to finished the story with Jesel and…I don’t know…I would like to have Jay and Trevor’s story done.

I feel safer with this story.
So tomorrow I need to find out a bit more about cocaine and then go through and work on it. I usually sit there for a couple of hours writing stuff in the margin, crossing out stuff in the margins, and then rewriting more stuff. Tomorrow seems like the best time to do it so I’m not rushed on Friday. I want to do my best. I really like this story and want to make sure it gets the add-ons it deserves.

Imagination At It's Best

I realize that I haven’t been updating this as much as I’m supposed too. It’s not that I forget about it, I actually have am alarm on my phone that goes off at 3:00pm every weekday saying “BLOG!!” The problem is that I don’t know what to write. I think about it all day, but I can never come up with anything to say.

To me writing goes hand in hand with reading. I don’t believe that had I not LOVED reading I never would have picked up a pencil and began to write. We all have imaginations as kids but as we get older we lose the ability to not only pretend but make up adventures in our minds. Reading allows us to keep that.

I was going through this website weheartit.com which is a site with pictures of all types. I was looking through the quote section (because I love love quotes) and I saw this pictures that said “Book lovers never go to be alone.” And I realized how to true this is. Especially when I go to the dentist or to give blood and they always ask of you want a magazine. I politely decline and spend the time waiting looking around the room and then staring out the window. And while I might look weird just staring my mind is on its own adventure. I could be daydreaming. Thinking up characters that I’ve made up and what they’re doing. Or I might be going over a story that I’ve already read. The parts of the story that the writing didn’t write. Just the mundane steps fascinate me. And I find that time passes very quickly.

I believe that reading is an amazing thing. And I understand that not everyone enjoys reading (especially at my age) but it’s a huge part of me and it’s always been there.

Reading has given me the confidence to write. To create world and people are my entirely and whose stories I cherish. I can’t imagine not have the ability to be able to do both.

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” Some people think that reading is boring, but the only truth I can tell is the fact that reading has saved me from bad realities. Yes, I know that I can’t just stay living in my own imagination through the books I read whether it’s a fiction or not. But filling up my mind with good things (even when it’s imaginary) has done much in healing some invisible scars.”

Teaching the Art of Writing

I helped my sister write a paper for a scholarship she’s entering. Somehow I became the essay expert and since my freshman year of high school I’ve been helping all of my brothers and sisters write their essays. I’m not a fantastic essay writer. I know that I’m majoring in English but I still have yet to master punctuation and formal word usage (also using big words), but I am amazed at how….bad my sisters and brothers are at writing. It kind of amazes me that they can’t write an essay and make it sound professional. It’s times like this that I realize everyone isn’t good at everything. There are things that some can do and things that some cannot do. And while you feel smart and great doing the things that you can do you have to realize that not everyone has that come so easily to them.

Usually when one of my siblings comes to me with school work I take over. The last essay my sister Erin had to write I snuck on her computer, which she left in my room, and finished the essay. Tonight though I just gave my sister, Chelsea, a prompt and told her to write what she felt should be written. After she wrote it out and read it back to be I tweaked it a little, but not as much as I usually would. Although this was different than before since it was a essay about her and she knows herself better than I would I think I’m going to try and continue to work this way. Not only will I stop getting blamed for their papers not grading so high but it will teach them how to write on their own. I can’t continue to have them come into my room saying “we have a lot of work to do” and then basically so their work for them. I think it’s time they stop being so dependent on me. Not for everything but for things that they need to accomplish on their own.

Fnishing the Act

I turned in my story chapter for class. I spent the day re-reading and editing what I already had using comments I’ve previously received and things I didn’t care for. I’m not that okay with it. It still needs a lot of work, but I think that any kind of comments I have can only improve the chapter.

I think that once I have this chapter done and set up the way that I want it’ll be helpful for the rest of the story. The first chapter should give me the mood that I’m looking for and the writing style that I’ll need to keep everything flowing. I would love more than anything to finish this story. I’ve gotten pretty far into it already (which is pretty surprising). All I need to finish is the second half of the middle and onward. I know how I want it to end and have actually written a little one-shot that goes after the story.

We’ll see what the students think. I’m hoping that I’ll receive a lot of good feedback.

And the Reviews Are In

I received all of the critiques and review for my submitted story yesterday. Five in total. Four from students and one from my teacher herself (whose names I misspelled after emails her-SO SO sorry Mrs. Giliiam). I found it interesting that every review had something different to say. At least three found it confusing until they reached the end, but that was kinda point of the story. I didn’t want to give away everything.

When I submitted this last time (I turned it in again because I wanted to get more feedback) almost all of the reviews asked for the name of the drug and for Jay to have more backbone. This time I received four different problems that the editors would like changed. Even though they would like to see me add more to the story I’m really glad that the previous problems I had did not exist. It means that I did my job.

Now comes the hard part. It’s time for me to go deeper into the story. To revisit the same thought-path I had before, but make changes on the way. It’s definitely going to take longer than week so I’m going to try and start it soon.

After I find another piece to turn it. That’s my first dilemma. I don’t have another piece that I’m as proud of as this one. It’s time to go through my notepads and search my computer. After that I’ll work on “You Are My Drug.”

I am glad that they liked the title. I wasn’t (and still am) not sure how much I like it, but since I didn’t have any bad remarks on it I’ll keep it…..for now at least.

Writer's Block Therapist

Even though it’s only been a week since I’ve started using this blog for my creative writing class I think I’ve started a theme. I tend to write more on my ideas of writing and what I think about writing. This could be because I have really written anything new lately which is really annoying.

Writers block is the worst. It’s not that I can’t write its that nothing makes sense. At least it’s not anything that I look at and say “that’s a good start.” I believe that the best way to call back your muse is to just write. Even if nothing is perfect or good just put the pen to paper. I bought a book not too long ago called “The Writer’s Portable Therapist” by Rachel Ballon, Ph.D.

She a writer’s therapist (kinda weird) that works in L.A. The book is about writing, how writers view writing, become famous, writing problems, and much more. Each chapter starts with a topic and then goes into scenarios that her patients faced. She introduces the Fast Flow Method which she says gets you ready to write. You pick a place that you want, close your eyes, breath count to five, hold that breath for three counts, and slowly let that breath out and count to seven. As you breathe you need to visual your favorite place. It’s a lot like mediating you continue this until you’re relaxed. Once you’ve relaxed you write for 20 minutes. No stopping not even for corrections. You just write whatever comes to your mind.

At the end of each chapter she gives you a topic in which to use the Fast Flow Method and just write. I really enjoyed this. I may not have made it 20 minutes every time but just writing was very therapeutic. The topics ranged from your fears, why you write, to personal memories.

I really enjoyed the book. And I like that you can go at your own pace (it took me a while to get through it) and can re-read it again and again. It also is helpful with writer’s block. Writing for 20 minutes about anything releases our creativity and that is very refreshing.

Cleaning Out The Pages

I did some spring cleaning today. Everything just felt dirty, but now my room feels better. The dust was killer on my allergies especially if I put my hands near my face. I hate dealing with the itchy face and watery eyes, but it was worth it.

While I was cleaning I went through my stack of notebooks and papers that I keep together. They all contain stories that I’ve started, but never have gotten around to finish (I love writing in plan school notebooks). I always get a great idea and start writing something that “I swear I’m going to finish this time.” Then a week later I’ve thought of another great idea and start on something else. After four notebooks of this I dedicated a page to my story ideas. I would write down the plot that I had thought of and how I wanted it to go. But I wouldn’t start it. Instead I would work on the previous story.

I noticed as I was going through my stories that they all had to do with romance. Which it a little weird since I’ve never been much of a romance reader. I love science fiction books. Dragons, magic, wars, heroes, gods, and everything that makes up a new world that is exciting. Yet when I write it’s always a romance. Maybe it’s the girl in me. I don’t know, but they always seem to come easier. I do enjoy re-reading things that I’ve written. They may not be the most amazing thing that I’ve put on paper, but it makes me happy to see that I wrote something. Of course I critique every little line and edited it even though I might not ever finish it.

I’ll have to pull them out again soon and pick one that I would like to see have an ending.

Critiquing For the Better

This week for my creative writing class we had to submit a piece of original work. I submitted my piece “You Are My Drug.” It’s a short story about a couple fighting about a betrayal one of them committed. It’s one of the pieces I’m most proud of. I think that it flowed really well and held a lot of the pain and suspense I wanted it to have.

I submitted it last year when I took the class. It went over well with all but one person. It made me really happen that they enjoyed my writing. I’m hoping that this new group of students will like the piece as well. As much as I freak out about people reading it I believe that the criticism is very helpful. I used the things that the last students told me I should change and love my story even more.

Having people tell you what’s wrong in a helpful manner allows you to change whatever your ding for the better.

Ideas

I’ve been thinking lately that I might either start writing me memoirs or create a character that suffers from the same social phobia that I do.

I’m not that old (only 22) but I think that since most of the memories are still fresh (or as fresh as they can be) it’ll be easier if I start writing them down now. My grandmother has written hers already. She had my cousin Mikey and I go with her to Oregon to see her old house, her foster homes, schools, works, and other places that where apart of her life before she moved to California.

I think it would be nice to have those memories down so that I can show them to anyone who would like to see them.

As for the character I want to show something to people who don’t understand or know what social phobia is. I’m only self diagnosed, but it’s something that I know and when I try to explain it to others they think that it’s something easily fixed. Or they laugh at it. They usually believe that all the person has to do it talk to people. But it’s so much deeper than that and the problems can be coped with but they affect everyday life.

I still don’t know if this is something I will follow through with. It’s hard enough for me to explain what I feel that I’m not sure if I’ll even be able to write down what the character it feeling.

Writing

For a month I’m going to be using this blog for my creative writing class. I’ll have to update five days a week. I’m not sure if it only had to be for writing. I’m sure I’ll mix both writing and personal. I hope that doesn’t bore or offend anyone. I also hope I have something to say about writing. Maybe this’ll be good for my writers block and I might actually get something on paper.

When I was younger (not that long ago) I wanted to be a writer. Being a book nerd it was the ultimate fantasy to have a book that I wrote published. To have millions of people read it and to have the pride of holding that book in my hands. About 2 years ago I knew I wouldn’t ever be a published author and I was and am okay with that. I’m not a fantastic writer and I find my stories to be a bit childish and simple. My mother told me that a friend of her has a daughter (she’s like 12/13) that has finished writing a book. It was about 200 pages and her dream is to be a published author. I received a look like “just like you.’” I informed her that I didn’t want to a huge published author.

I love writing. There’s a feeling that I get when I can create that’s impossible to share. I just love it and I also love the exhausting afterwards. When I starting writing and get really into it I go into this trace-like state and just write and write. When I’m done I feel a great tired feeling. It doesn’t sound correct when I put it like that but I love it.

So while I’ll never probably become a big-shot author I’ll still love writing. And I’ll never stop writing for me.