Changed for the Better

I submitted my revision of ‘You Are My Drug.’ I can’t say that I love what I did. I’m even sure that I like what I did. I’ll have to read through it without the add stuff caped. It doesn’t help with everything so big and I still haven’t added the new non-capped story to the saved document that has every edition of the story.

Even if it isn’t my favorite there’s nothing I can’t change. It’s not like it’s set in stone. I’ll just have to figure out if I need to change anything. I’m hoping that I don’t and that what I wrote fits in with the story is supposed to be. I did try and address every critique that I was given. I read through the ones that I had to edit myself and noticed that many of them didn’t change too much and the ones that I gave the honest critique didn’t add anything that I said. It’s their stories and their choice what they want to add or not add. But I felt that all the comments I received should have been changed or added. So I did it.

We’ll have to see what happens.

Workin'

I’ve been working on my editing for the last couple hours on and off. It’s a little frustrating. I usually change some things then back away before going back to it. It allows the new things to settle before I re-read them. But it hasn’t been easy. It’s interesting how some changes just come easily. I can see where they need to be changed and why they need to be changed.

But others are a pain in the butt. I’m trying to find a place to add more Jay. It’s not first person POV but she’s still the main character and I guess that wasn’t showing before. So I have to find some way to make her more there. I also have to add some more meat to the story. I’m thinking that add more Jay will accomplish this, but I do know that I have to add other things as well. Like background. Which isn’t to difficult, but it’s not easy. I want to add more about Trevor and his reason for drugs but not give a specific setting, because this doesn’t have a certain place it takes place.

So this is what I’ve been doing. It’s a little hard since it’s just me and there isn’t anyone to bounce ideas off of, but I’ve never really worked well on any kind of writing with others. I just have to make sure that it’s right.

The Best Find At The Wrong Time

My mother and I went to the local street fair on Sunday. I wasn’t planning on buying anything since I don’t have a job and any money I get from babysitting I save, but I took $25 and decided just getting out of the house was nice. We were strolling down the street with antiques and my mom was looking over everything looking for a gift me for grandmother….plus anything she might want. A man was selling books and I of course went over to look. Sitting on the top self was three older different sets of the Lord of the Rings trilogy, the series I had just put on my WANT LIST only two weeks earlier. He said it would cost $45 and I almost gave in. It took a lot for me to walk away. It figures that when I have no money everything I want comes out from hiding.

Anyways….I read over my reviews from my creative writing class. It’s going to be difficult editing my story. It’s not like a lot was asked of me but it hard taking something that sits pretty good and adding more meat to it. Plus I want to make sure I like it. I mean having other people enjoy what I’ve written is awesome and I love it, but I want to make sure that it still fits into what I want it to be and what it’s supposed to be.

Tactful Criticism

I finished turning in my assigned story reviews. I tried to stay tactful with my reviews and I’m hoping that they didn’t come off as mean.

I had a harder time this week than I did last. I think that’s because I found two of this week’s stories not as great as the ones before. That sound mean, but unfortunately that’s what I thought. I tried to be as nice as I could and still relay my message. It’s harder than one might think giving a tactful review. Whatever you might want to say as to be edited. I’m not a mean person and I don’t think that I would ay anything mean anyways, but sometimes you want to just tell someone the truth.

I hope the other students take my reviews as criticism as helpful and not mean.

I know I recieved a review that...well she said what she believed and it wasn't good at all. No matter how tactful it is any review that takes apart your story can be hurtful. But as a writer you have to take the bad and turn it into something good so that you can improve your story.

Getting Things Done

I printed out my assigned stories (correctly back to back). I’ll hopefully get them read tomorrow or Wednesday. I have a Shakespeare paper due on Sunday, a test due Wednesday, and will more than likely have homework for my Word, Excel, and Access class. I would like to get most of the work finished before Saturday. I’m tired of waiting until the day it’s due to turn everything in. I need to become a better student and motivate myself to work before.

I had a quick look-through of the stories I’m supposed to read and I realized that I responded to a review two weeks ago and called the woman the wrong name. Her name is Jacquelynn but it’s weirdly separated on the board and I called her Jaque. Opps. I hope she does think I was be lazy and didn’t type out her name correctly for that I was being rude. I’ll get it right this time.

The stories I was given (except for the same author I previously had) are different than I what I had last time. It’ll be interesting to see how they turn out.

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I just watched a video that was either depressing or heartwarming depending on how the watcher feels. I found it super depressing and admittedly I cried. It’s the story of a child fight and a parent’s love. It’s amazing to see how this baby fought all odds and the pictures of his life. Not only the child but the parents who loved this baby and fought alongside him praying and giving him everything they had. I’m getting teary eyed just thinking about it. Here it is but it is sad. So don’t watch if you aren’t willing to give a cry. Also it doesn't fit too well in this space so you might want to double-click the video and go directly to the page.

Work Work Work

I finally finished King Lear today. Seem to take forever but I really enjoyed it. I was shocked by how it ended, but I shouldn’t be surprised. Shakespeare was the master of soap operas before they existed.

I spent some of the day thinking about how I’m going to edit me story. I didn’t write anything down though. I like to work it out in my head first. It allows me to go over all the possibilities before picking which one I believe fits best into the story. Once I decide what I want to do I’ll start to finally edit what needs to be added or changed.

Friday Night Thoughts

First off I read my post from Wednesday and wow could it get more I-pity-myself. I guess that’s what happens when you write out your train of thought. Which I love doing. Oh well.

Next week we start to get our reviews for our stories. I have to say that I’m really nervous. That last one I turned it I had a bit of confidence in. I believe that it is one of my best written pieces. So I was nervous about that one but this one is a lot worse. I think it’s because I know that it needs work. It’s a story set in a place that I have made up completely and still so not fully understand. I’m super nervous but am curious to see what my classmates and teacher think of the piece.

I bought some new songs on Saturday. I was tired of the playlist I have and wanted to get some new tunes. I bought this song by the girl Lesley Roy called “Dead But Breathing.” It’s a great song. I have a weak spot for pianos and I love how the piano plays throughout the song. I was listening to the song right after I bought it and realized that if I had written my story “You are My Drug” differently it would have been this song. Instead of forgiving her love she told him that she could handle it anymore and wanted to break up. It fit so perfectly which I found funny. I’d never heard this song before and yet it held all the emotion that I want my story to hold.

This weekend I have to finish King Lear, retake a test, and finish homework for the retake test class. I have two days but I feel like I need a week. I can’t wait for this week to be over.

Old Addiction and New

Today as I was pulling off the stickers on the back of my Shakespeare book I realized that I haven’t read an actually book in a long time and it made me sad. For as long as I can remember I’ve always had a book that I carried everywhere. I was the girl who when she didn’t have a book heard “Jackie doesn’t’ have a book. No way.” You know the book nerd. And I never cared because I loved having my book and opened it whenever I could. Even if that meant sneaking it out when the teacher wasn’t watching and reading instead of taking notes.

Upon graduating college I received a lap-top computer. It’s what the children in my house get for graduating. I was super excited. I’m also a bit of a technology fan. I’d been using the family PC for games, websites, and reading. I’d been a fan of websites such as fanfiction.com, Quizilla, and Fictionpress.com. All of which I posted some sort of original work and followed wonderful authors. Although I read online I never spent too much time because I preferred my books. Getting the lap-top changed everything. I’ve since become a bit of a computer addict. I’m on it pretty much all day. NO matter what I have to be on it.

In about August of 2006, a few months after graduating, I found this show called Queer As Folk (or QAF) which had just ended the year before. After I watched all of the show clips and look up pictures I began reading fanfiction something I swore I would never do. And I became addicted. There are some amazing writers who not only write fanfiction but also write original work as well. Since then I read all day.

I love the fact that I’m still reading. And just because the characters in the stories are from a tv show doesn’t mean that the writing can’t imagine some of the most amazing settings and story lines that I have ever read. But I’m still sad that I don’t carry around a book. That I don’t read the same stories that I once did. I read romance stories now instead of science fiction novels. While I was at a bookstore I picked up one the new novels in a series I used to love and read the back. I really need to try to get into it again. I was so interested in what I read but all I could think about was the multi-series story that I was in the middle of reading. I really have to get over this computer addiction and get back in book addiction. A tiny part so I can hear my mom stop saying “I haven’t seen you with a book in forever.” But mostly for me.

Not leaving the house and staring a computer screen, even if I’m reading, is bad for me. It’s bad for my health and it’s bad for my dreams and my goals. I just wish it wasn’t so difficult and that I could actually stick to getting of the computer. Not just saying I will.

Fnishing the Act

I turned in my story chapter for class. I spent the day re-reading and editing what I already had using comments I’ve previously received and things I didn’t care for. I’m not that okay with it. It still needs a lot of work, but I think that any kind of comments I have can only improve the chapter.

I think that once I have this chapter done and set up the way that I want it’ll be helpful for the rest of the story. The first chapter should give me the mood that I’m looking for and the writing style that I’ll need to keep everything flowing. I would love more than anything to finish this story. I’ve gotten pretty far into it already (which is pretty surprising). All I need to finish is the second half of the middle and onward. I know how I want it to end and have actually written a little one-shot that goes after the story.

We’ll see what the students think. I’m hoping that I’ll receive a lot of good feedback.

Busy Busy

This is not going to be a fun week. Suddenly I’ve been dropped with a lot of important school work. The tow that I’m most worried about is the Shakespeare book King Lear that I have to have done by Saturday and a re-take test plus homework for my Word, Excel, and Access class. Goodness…plus my sister turned 21 today. I wish it was already next Monday.

So I’m caught between two stories to turn into my creative writing class. They both need a lot of work. I need to add a good amount of bone to one and change and fix quite a bit in the other. But they are the only pieces that I feel semi-comfortable turning it. I know that the point of this assignment is to have someone read your work and give you good criticism. I know that it’s okay to turn in something that’s not perfect and needs to work but I don’t want to turn in something that I don’t think is even close to good.

I need to have more pieces that I can look at and feel like I do about “You’re my Drug.” So I think I’ll look over the two pieces that I have and see which one needs the least amount of editing. It’s starting off as a fun fun week. Yayyyy.

And the Reviews Are In

I received all of the critiques and review for my submitted story yesterday. Five in total. Four from students and one from my teacher herself (whose names I misspelled after emails her-SO SO sorry Mrs. Giliiam). I found it interesting that every review had something different to say. At least three found it confusing until they reached the end, but that was kinda point of the story. I didn’t want to give away everything.

When I submitted this last time (I turned it in again because I wanted to get more feedback) almost all of the reviews asked for the name of the drug and for Jay to have more backbone. This time I received four different problems that the editors would like changed. Even though they would like to see me add more to the story I’m really glad that the previous problems I had did not exist. It means that I did my job.

Now comes the hard part. It’s time for me to go deeper into the story. To revisit the same thought-path I had before, but make changes on the way. It’s definitely going to take longer than week so I’m going to try and start it soon.

After I find another piece to turn it. That’s my first dilemma. I don’t have another piece that I’m as proud of as this one. It’s time to go through my notepads and search my computer. After that I’ll work on “You Are My Drug.”

I am glad that they liked the title. I wasn’t (and still am) not sure how much I like it, but since I didn’t have any bad remarks on it I’ll keep it…..for now at least.

Editing Birthdays

Today my brother turned 15. On Monday my sister turns 21. The older my siblings get the older I feel. I have four younger siblings and I can remember them being younger. Not losing the baby fat, or voice changes, or dating, or anything that comes with being older. This aging thing seems to get going way to fast.

I mean 15 years old. I remember when he was born. It doesn’t seem like it was that long ago he was 8. Goodness.

I finished reading my assigned stories. I’ve edited them pretty thoroughly and have written out what I think needs to be changed. I have to go through what I’ve written to make it helpful and tactful. I don’t want to insult them or make anyone upset. So I need to get that done by tonight or mid-day tomorrow.
The pieces I read were pretty good. There were a couple of things that I didn’t believe fit into the story or I feel they missed quite a bit. Two confused me. One of those seemed like the writer wrote it just before it was due and didn’t go over it at all. The other two weren’t too bad. They had a couple of unnecessary facts that made me question at the end why it was there.

Overall they were interesting and I hope that they will be able to edit their pieces. I would like to see how they come about after the student responses.

The Editing Libraian

I’m looking over the class requirements for an English degree. Whew it’s quite a bit of hard classes but at the same time it’s not. I also looked up Library Science because I was thinking about becoming a librarian. I’m still not positive this is what I want to do and I should probably find something soon.

I went with my mother shopping for curtains and birthday gifts for my brother. We stopped by Borders and walking in I took the deepest breath. I love the smell of books whether they are old are new. They just smell amazing. I could just smell and be surrounded by books all day. That’s partly the reason I’ve thought about becoming a librarian. Of course the reason why I started seriously looking into it would be because of a character in movie. I feel weird when I say that, but she took a lot of the things I like and put them into play.

I started editing my assigned pieces today. Not a lot since I spent time with mom and shopping with her is exhausting. But I got a small start. The first one is interesting and a little confusing, but I think that is because it is only a chapter of a longer piece. I’ll have to read some more before my family and I celebrate my brother’s birthday. I don’t want to wait until the last minute. As a writer I know the anticipation and worry of waiting for a critique on your own work. I don’t want to hold them in suspense too long.

Becoming An Editor, An Editee, and Page Turners

I received my first critique in my creative writing class. She enjoyed my piece, but did have some things that she didn’t care for. I understand what she was telling me that I should add and edit. And even though I understand I’m going to wait until I get all of my responses before I do editing. I’m keeping my mind what she said and figuring out where I can put in her suggestions but I don’t want to change too much there aren’t any other people with the same problem.

I printed out the pieces that I have to critique and will start reading them tomorrow. I have four different pieces to read and they don’t seem too long. The longest one was nine pages and I think that might be the most difficult. I decided t o print them out so that I can make notes on the sides plus I prefer paper. I know it’s not the best for the environment but I find it easier to read and edit something when it’s in my hands. This is why I write out everything (stories, papers, etc) first before typing them. Sometimes I write them twice (I did with a 30 page story I was writing) because I get three edits that way.

It’s the same with books. I know that t he Kindle is a huge thing right now, but I don’t think I could give up my books. I always keep every book I’ve bought. My mom doesn’t quite understand why I can’t get rid of them, but I’ve heard of other people who do that same. But I love the feel of the pages and turning the page to get to the next part of the story. It’s thrilling and wonderful.

College and Editing

This week in my creative writing class we are assigned other students pieces to critique. I’m a little nervous. I enjoy reading what others have come up with but it’s telling them what’s wrong that I’m not a fan of. It might be part of my social phobia or whatever but I don’t want them to be upset. Last year I gave them a few pointers but didn’t really give them a true edit. I think this year I might give them a real answer.

I’ve always been a little picky about editing grammar. It annoys me when it’s not right. I edit everything I read. My siblings hate it. I just hope that the author isn’t upset when I tell them what’s wrong. Although I’m not sure if that’s really critiquing. Argh so frustrating. I also sometimes read someone's work an think "this just isn't good at all." But that is a terrible thing to say to person, so I never say it and I have no idea how to get around it with "the piece needs a bit more work." We’ll see what happens after I read them.

So I was finally accepted into CSU Stanislaus. Yay! It’s pretty exciting, but I’m panicking a little. I’m only focusing on the dorms and money right now and trying not to think about everything else. I think we’ll have school money soon. Dorms though. Man that’s freaking me out. I have no real idea what to take with me and have been researching. Lots of websites and watching youtube videos.

The difference between boys and girls is funny. Boy have the bare basics and that’s about it. Girls, however, have rooms backed to the brim. I swear they bring everything they possible can. And I know that I’m more than likely going to be one of those girls. I’m only an hour from home but at the same time I’m an hour from home.

I’m going to freak out a bit more and make another list.

Writer's Block Therapist

Even though it’s only been a week since I’ve started using this blog for my creative writing class I think I’ve started a theme. I tend to write more on my ideas of writing and what I think about writing. This could be because I have really written anything new lately which is really annoying.

Writers block is the worst. It’s not that I can’t write its that nothing makes sense. At least it’s not anything that I look at and say “that’s a good start.” I believe that the best way to call back your muse is to just write. Even if nothing is perfect or good just put the pen to paper. I bought a book not too long ago called “The Writer’s Portable Therapist” by Rachel Ballon, Ph.D.

She a writer’s therapist (kinda weird) that works in L.A. The book is about writing, how writers view writing, become famous, writing problems, and much more. Each chapter starts with a topic and then goes into scenarios that her patients faced. She introduces the Fast Flow Method which she says gets you ready to write. You pick a place that you want, close your eyes, breath count to five, hold that breath for three counts, and slowly let that breath out and count to seven. As you breathe you need to visual your favorite place. It’s a lot like mediating you continue this until you’re relaxed. Once you’ve relaxed you write for 20 minutes. No stopping not even for corrections. You just write whatever comes to your mind.

At the end of each chapter she gives you a topic in which to use the Fast Flow Method and just write. I really enjoyed this. I may not have made it 20 minutes every time but just writing was very therapeutic. The topics ranged from your fears, why you write, to personal memories.

I really enjoyed the book. And I like that you can go at your own pace (it took me a while to get through it) and can re-read it again and again. It also is helpful with writer’s block. Writing for 20 minutes about anything releases our creativity and that is very refreshing.

Cleaning Out The Pages

I did some spring cleaning today. Everything just felt dirty, but now my room feels better. The dust was killer on my allergies especially if I put my hands near my face. I hate dealing with the itchy face and watery eyes, but it was worth it.

While I was cleaning I went through my stack of notebooks and papers that I keep together. They all contain stories that I’ve started, but never have gotten around to finish (I love writing in plan school notebooks). I always get a great idea and start writing something that “I swear I’m going to finish this time.” Then a week later I’ve thought of another great idea and start on something else. After four notebooks of this I dedicated a page to my story ideas. I would write down the plot that I had thought of and how I wanted it to go. But I wouldn’t start it. Instead I would work on the previous story.

I noticed as I was going through my stories that they all had to do with romance. Which it a little weird since I’ve never been much of a romance reader. I love science fiction books. Dragons, magic, wars, heroes, gods, and everything that makes up a new world that is exciting. Yet when I write it’s always a romance. Maybe it’s the girl in me. I don’t know, but they always seem to come easier. I do enjoy re-reading things that I’ve written. They may not be the most amazing thing that I’ve put on paper, but it makes me happy to see that I wrote something. Of course I critique every little line and edited it even though I might not ever finish it.

I’ll have to pull them out again soon and pick one that I would like to see have an ending.

Critiquing For the Better

This week for my creative writing class we had to submit a piece of original work. I submitted my piece “You Are My Drug.” It’s a short story about a couple fighting about a betrayal one of them committed. It’s one of the pieces I’m most proud of. I think that it flowed really well and held a lot of the pain and suspense I wanted it to have.

I submitted it last year when I took the class. It went over well with all but one person. It made me really happen that they enjoyed my writing. I’m hoping that this new group of students will like the piece as well. As much as I freak out about people reading it I believe that the criticism is very helpful. I used the things that the last students told me I should change and love my story even more.

Having people tell you what’s wrong in a helpful manner allows you to change whatever your ding for the better.

Writing

For a month I’m going to be using this blog for my creative writing class. I’ll have to update five days a week. I’m not sure if it only had to be for writing. I’m sure I’ll mix both writing and personal. I hope that doesn’t bore or offend anyone. I also hope I have something to say about writing. Maybe this’ll be good for my writers block and I might actually get something on paper.

When I was younger (not that long ago) I wanted to be a writer. Being a book nerd it was the ultimate fantasy to have a book that I wrote published. To have millions of people read it and to have the pride of holding that book in my hands. About 2 years ago I knew I wouldn’t ever be a published author and I was and am okay with that. I’m not a fantastic writer and I find my stories to be a bit childish and simple. My mother told me that a friend of her has a daughter (she’s like 12/13) that has finished writing a book. It was about 200 pages and her dream is to be a published author. I received a look like “just like you.’” I informed her that I didn’t want to a huge published author.

I love writing. There’s a feeling that I get when I can create that’s impossible to share. I just love it and I also love the exhausting afterwards. When I starting writing and get really into it I go into this trace-like state and just write and write. When I’m done I feel a great tired feeling. It doesn’t sound correct when I put it like that but I love it.

So while I’ll never probably become a big-shot author I’ll still love writing. And I’ll never stop writing for me.